How to get better at small talk

How to get better at small talk

How to get better at small talk

Praise Maukazuva, 15 February 2017

Most people find it difficult to socialize or simply engage in a small conversation. Which is normal, because it is not an easy task. You probably have absolutely nothing in common, or they are too sophisticated that you might feel like you are insulting them accidentally. I have been in such situations and they normally end with an awkward pause, or silence.

So how can we get better at this? You might find the tips below useful:

1. Show interest in the conversation

You can show interest by asking more about themselves. Let them talk about themselves. That way you are also able to pick up some areas of interesting that you can discuss on. Show that you care about what they are talking about and be a good listener.

2. Ask open-ended question

Avoid questions that will end up with a “yes” or “no” answer. That will end the kill the conversation.

3. Try to practice with anyone

It can be your house cleaner, or the security guard. This will help you maintain interesting conversations. It will also make you comfortable with starting up conversations.

4. Pass out positive comments

Or to flatter them. People like to be praised and they always want to be associated with people who make them feel better.

5. Learn from reality show hosts or comedians

Master how they ask questions and how they handle different expressions or answers, positive and negative both. The order of questions they ask also. It is very important. Questions that are too mumbled will kill the conversation.

6. Be Honest

Honesty is an important aspect when it comes to communication. Especially when you want to start a relationship, as it promotes relationships of trust.

7. F.O.R.M.

In case you forget or run out on what to ask. F is for family. You can talk about about family. O is for occupation, where they work or if they are still a student, what they are studying. R is for Recreation, what they do for fun or places they have visited so far. And lastly M for Money. Now this doesn’t mean you have to ask them what they earn or how much money they have but simply economy issues or current affairs.

And most of all. Body language is very important. I will leave you with the last acronym SOFTEN.

S Smile often, this shows that you are interested in the conversation
O Open posture
F Forward lean
T Touch by shaking hands
E Eye contact should be kept always
N Nod your head, to show that you are listening and you can actually relate with what they are talking about

A person to remember, a quote to inspire

A person to remember, a quote to inspire

A person to remember, a quote to inspire.

Disclaimer:

This video was shot at the Red Carpet Wax Museum @ i-City Theme Park in Shah Alam, Malaysia. All wax figures shown in this video and in this article along with their inspirational quotes are inspired by real iconic and legendary people throughout history are used for illustration and motivational purposes only. Any lack or poor resemblance of actual people, living or dead, in this video and article, are purely coincidental and are due to sculpture design imperfections.

“If you work hard and meet your responsibilities, you can get ahead no matter where you came from, what you look like, or who you love.”

– Barack Obama

“Everything will probably never be okay. But we have to try for it.”

– Vladimir Putin

“You must always equip yourself through training and sharpening your skill all the time.”

- Tunku Abdul Rahman

“The courageous do not lie down and accept defeat. Instead, they are all the more determined to struggle for a better future.”

– Queen Elizabeth II

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”

- Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Learn The Way And Find Your Own Way"

– Jet Li

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”

- Albert Einstein

“It’s fine to celebrate success. But it’s better to heed the lessons of failure.”

– Bill Gates

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”

- Steve Jobs

“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

– Nelson Mandela

“You are never too young to lead, nor too old to act. And you should never doubt your capacity to triumph where others have not.”

– Kofi Annan

“If you want to reach your goals and dreams, you cannot do it without discipline.”

– Lee Kuan Yew

The psychology of narcissism

The psychology of narcissism

Video by TED-Ed

Narcissism isn’t just a personality type that shows up in advice columns; it’s actually a set of traits classified and studied by psychologists. But what causes it? And can narcissists improve on their negative traits? W. Keith Campbell describes the psychology behind the elevated and sometimes detrimental self-involvement of narcissists.

Lesson by W. Keith Campbell, animation by TOGETHER.

Got a narcissistic friend?

A four-stroke life on a single ride

A four-stroke life on a single ride

A four-stroke life on two wheels

There are those who believe that unlike cars, which transport bodies, motorcycles move the soul. To them, it is experiencing liberation on two wheels, where worries fade with the twist of the throttle.

Faizal Reza is one such person. Falling in love with motorcycles as a teenager, the 43-year of father of two continues to be seduced by the open roads and caresses of the wind.

It is this passion for combustion that led him to quit his previous job as a creative director with an international advertising firm, and trade his design software tools for screwdrivers and wrenches to become a bike builder and customiser.

On a sun-baked Saturday afternoon, Malaysiakini met Faizal, whose brother Fahmi made headlines with his clown-face depiction of the prime minister, at his ‘Gimme Shelter’ chop shop nestled in a back-lane in Cheras, Kuala Lumpur, to find out what fires his pistons.

Inspired by the choppers made popular by the ‘Hells Angels’ in the 1960s, Faizal’s designs often emulate the stripped-down look from that era.

For those who wish to flirt with danger, there is also the option of tearing down the asphalt without a front brake and a suicide clutch, or ‘jockey shifter’.

For the uninitiated, the suicide clutch refers to a foot-operated clutch and hand-shifter to change gears.

“It is a way of life,” responded Faizal when asked what the word ‘motorcycle’ meant to him.

“When I ride my bike to work, back home or wherever… You forget all your problems. You are on your own, with the wind in your face. Everything disappears.”

Faizal said he worked hard to afford his first bike, a Harley-Davidson, and there has been no turning back since then.

“I started tinkering around with my bike, and customising it.

“When my friends saw what I had done with my bike, they asked me to customise their bikes as well. It started from there, helping friends do up their bikes from my home garage.

“Then social media came about, Facebook, Instagram, and more people got to know about my work. From there, it snowballed into this shop,”

he said, explaining that the idea to name the premises ‘Gimme Shelter’ came from watching a documentary on the Rolling Stones.

Apart from learning the skills of the trade on his own, Faizal said he was also fortunate to have mechanic friends who were willing to share their knowledge with him.

Most would balk at the prospect of leaving a secure job with a comfortable income to plunge into the risk-riddled world of business, but for Faizal, the need to pursue his dream outweighed other considerations.

His wife, too, was supportive of the business, something which he is thankful for.

“She was happy… because when I was in advertising, it was stressful.

“I hated pitching to clients. It was an important part of advertising, but I hated it.

“I did not like facing CEOs and datuks… but now when CEOs and datuks come (to the shop), I am comfortable in my world… I am the king of this domain.”

According to Faizal, his wife is fond of motorcycles as well, and the couple have been going on rides together since they started courting.

Think out of the box

Claiming that the motorcycle customisation scene in Malaysia is more than two decades behind, he said the biggest obstacle is convincing people to think out of the box.

“No matter how expensive a bike you have, there will be a 100 more just like it,” he said, pointing out that customisation allowed one to own a unique machine, comparable to none.

However, Faizal said the customisation scene is gaining traction in Malaysia, and this is a positive sign.

Many consider large engine capacity motorcycles, especially American makes, to be overpriced, with numerous models extending beyond the RM100,000 mark.

This has led to the perception that such motorcycles are for the well-heeled, but Faizal argued otherwise, claiming that almost anyone can own such a motorcycle.

“It is just that some people have different priorities. Take me as an example. When I bought my first bike, I did not have a car.

“So instead of using my money to buy a car, and drive around in a cage, I bought the bike. Rain or shine, I rode it. I didn’t care.

“Give or take, the monthly installment for a bike is about the same as that of a car. So it all depends on priorities. If you are really passionate about bikes, then forego the car. You can’t have it all.”

As for the younger generation who are interested in venturing into the customising business, Faizal’s advice to them is to “follow your heart and do it.”

“Don’t be afraid, just do it. This is what Malaysians lack… do it.”

To the question on where he sees himself in the future, Faizal said he would be rolling down the road on his motorcycle.

“I still see this shop running. But instead of being hands on (with the operations), I will be riding around the world… I just want to be free…

“My wife’s dream is to settle in Bali, have a little hut there, and ride our old Triumph (motorcycle), and I share this dream as well.”