What happens when human race suddenly disappear?
How does it make you feel?
What happens when human race suddenly disappear?
How does it make you feel?
There are many abusive relationships, and the only question to ask is: why?
The main answer is ‘control’.
The controlling characteristic that males attribute to their masculinity is the cause to these abusive relationships. When males don’t have control they feel their masculinity is threatened and they need to do something about it.
Here are some of the causes that can lead to domestic violence and abusive relationship.
1. Disagreement between a married couple.
The husband might be too controlling and might be making decisions of the family that only suit himself. Financial problems are the main causes of disagreements between a married couple.
Some men are very jealous and envious that they end up making up suspicions and wrongly accusing their wives for infidelity. They probably do not want to see them talking to any man, even a family member except them.
3. Some men have grown up witnessing Domestic Violence between their parents.
This can affect them in two ways. Either psychologically resulting in a mental disorder and anger issues or they start to think it’s the only way they can solve their problems.
4. Alcohol and Drug abuse.
The influence of alcohol can enable violence because there will be no control of what you are doing and your behaviour changes. 61% of domestics violence has alcohol involved. Some men use alcohol as an excuse for abusing their wives.
5. Some societies do not have strong laws to support women against abuse.
The issue is often tolerated and seen as a normal thing and is justified. Low level of education contributes also as beating wives is still seen as a way of having control over your family. Which is wrong.
Domestic Violence should never be justified or excused.
So below are some key steps you can follow:
1. Be alert and take note of his behaviour changes.
Signs that show your partner can resort to Domestic Violence. These include mood swings that are unpredictable, Jealousy as mentioned earlier on, a controlling behaviour or explosive behaviour and lastly when he is making threats such as, I will kill you or beat you up. You can pick up these signs even before marriage. I have seen it even amongst teenage relationships. They are often short tempered, lack of respect and even alcohol abuse. You should not feel like you need to stay in a abusive relationship. You need to cut ties as soon as possible.
2. Try to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner.
If you have any concerns or problems, you need to help yourselves through counselling or to ask help from friends or family members. Not dealing with these issues will only make it difficult down the road. You need to be able to address your issues together and in a civilized manner. But this is only when there is a disagreement not after he has abused you.
3. You need to be aware of Association that are specifically for women in your community.
Women’s Aid Organisation (WAO) opened Malaysia’s first refuge to abused women in 1982. They provide shelter, counseling and social work for victims of Domestic Violence. Most of these Organizations educate both women and young girls on abuse, its impacts and how to be safe.
WAO Hotline: 03 7956 3488
WhatsApp/SMS TINA: 018 988 8058
WAO Hotline: 03 7956 3488
WhatsApp/SMS TINA: 018 988 8058
1 in 4 women experience Domestic Violence during her lifetime and more than half of these women have children that watch them helplessly as they are abused.
It was a normal day for Fariesha Adnan who works as a supervisor at a department store in Kuala Lumpur – that is until a stranger approached her and asked her if she would like to be a fashion model.
The stranger, Sharmila Ramanathan (photo below), founder of e-commerce business initiative NativesMY, was looking for individuals from marginalised communities to model her Deepavali clothing collection last year, and the lanky Fariesha caught her eye.
Fariesha had harboured dreams of modelling, but as a transgender woman, she never thought it was possible.
“It was like a dream.”
But after the surprise and elation wore off, she said, doubt and scepticism started to seep in.
For starters, she wondered if this was a scam and Sharmila yet another con artist.
And then, after she was convinced that NativesMY is a genuine operation, she faced a bout of self-doubt.
Chuckling self-consciously during an interview with Malaysiakini, she said she had wondered if she could actually do the job. Prior to modeling for NativesMY, she only posed for selfies, she said.
“I suddenly found myself in front of (another person’s) camera. I needed to know how to pose as well as the correct angles.”
At 39, the youthful Fariesha (photo) did not only get to fulfill her dreams in a fashion shoot.
She also found herself walking down a catwalk thanks to coaching from former Miss World Malaysia, Thanuja Ananthan – an experience she believes has pushed her out of her shell.
“I was quite shy before this, now I can talk to people more openly. I’ve never had an opportunity like this, so I’m thankful to Sharmila,” she said with a smile.
The positive feedback, especially on social media, came as a second surprise for Fariesha who has had her share of negative remarks.
It has prompted Fariesha to consider modelling full-time but this is something she will need to mull further.
She was among four transgender women and a refugee who participated in the fashion show in September.
The Deepavali campaign embodies NativesMY’s objective to be more than a fashion brand.
The socially-conscious brand features handmade accessories by artisans in India, Thailand and Tibet, which are then marketed online.
Underlying the e-commerce, however, is the aspiration to use the business to empower marginalised communities, Sharmila said.
When considering how to market her products, Sharmila said she looked at how other brands had hired professional models and celebrities to endorse the brand online and decided to put a new twist to the concept.
“I understand why companies are doing it but I wanted to do something more meaningful.”
“Actually, I was open to anyone from the marginalised community but when I looked for them, it so happened that I found more transgender women,” said Sharmila, who holds a degree in advertising and marketing.
In fact, the Deepavali line was also dubbed “Hope” and dedicated to marginalised communities in hopes for improvement in the lives of those in such communities.
The desire to push for social change had before this seen her leave a plum job at an advertising firm to work for an international NGO, but it was not until she found a way to meld both her interests that she found fulfilment.
But life has not been a bed roses since she founded NativesMY.
“Now, most of the time when I meet my models, I will be taking a cab and carrying most of the bags (of clothes) for them to change into. I have bruises on my arms because I carry these bags.
“But at the end of the day I ask myself – am I happy? I am.”
The venture is fully-funded by Sharmila using her savings, as she does not want NativesMY to be constrained by investor requirements.
For example, she said, she did not want an investor to tell the brand’s models they cannot dress as women.
A group of transgender women last year lost their bid to declare unconstitutional a syariah enactment that criminalises cross-dressing.
Muslim transgender women risk arrest and action when dressing as women, as their identity cards state they are male – the gender they are assigned at birth.
A transgender man recently also lost his bid to change his gender on his identity card, after going through gender affirmation surgery.
“I want Natives to be a platform where people can be who they are. If (the transgender women) want to keep long hair or wear make-up as most of the time they are told not to,” Sharmila said.
Sharmila hopes the experience will help the models conquer their self-doubt and improve their lives.
“At the end of the day, I feel that this fundamental skill is the most important thing in getting a job and living a better life.”
“Especially for individuals from the marginalised community because they are so discriminated, stigmatised that they do not have basic skills such as confidence,” she said.
One of the NativesMY models had a passion for doing make-up, for example, but never had the confidence or the opportunity to pursue it.
After participating in the Deepavali campaign, Sharmila said, the model started following her dreams by becoming the make-up artiste for a local pageant participant.
This is an experience Sharmila hopes to replicate with those from other communities who have had to live on the fringes to society stigma.
Among those she hopes to recruit for the next campaign are those living with HIV, she said.
She also hopes to partner with corporate bodies through corporate social responsibility projects, at least to raise awareness among employers of employment discrimination faced by these groups.
“When I was looking for transgender people, I literally went to all malls to find them. It was so hard to find them.
“I think it’s because they have not been given opportunities to get proper jobs.”
“The next step is to see more progress (on this front), in that I hope that more companies will be more open to hiring them and giving them a chance,” she said.
Sharmila believes there is some level of acceptance already out there, evident in the positive feedback to NativeMY’s campaign on social media.
But she hopes Malaysians can do more than just share positive messages on social media.
“Malaysians just share things but that’s just creating awareness. They should go to the nearest NGO and do something.”
Do you agree?
Video by Al Jazeera English
A woman and two men were arrested on Wednesday after police raided clinics and homes on the outskirts of Kuala Lumpur.
All is not peaceful in the woods and forests of Kelantan. An “uprising” of sorts is in the works, after years of simmering disquiet over rampant logging, that threaten the livelihoods and culture of the local Orang Asli.
This was conveyed to me by one of the natives, who hosted me during my recent trip into the hills of Gua Musang. An Orang Asli from the Temiar tribe, who is personally involved in the timber blockades set up to stop loggers, from encroaching into their customary land.
My host served a simple but delicious meal for lunch on the day of my visit. This is symbolic of the hospitable nature of the local Orang Asli, as well as a stark reminder of what they stand to lose, if the forest around them continue to be cut down, uprooting them from their way of life and source of sustenance.
There was roasted tapioca, fish, jackfruit, and more, with a helping of rice and sweet tea to wash it all down. His cat meowed incessantly and miserably from the adjacent room – begging to be let out to join the feast.
However, the mood around the floor (there was no table) was sombre, as my host Anga Anja, 42, pondered over whether his two grandchildren would be able to cook such a bountiful meal in the future.
Anga hails from the Temiar village of Kampung Barong, Gua Musang, and the land around him is threatened by deforestation. And the worry and anger over how this may impact their future, has stirred up the normally docile Orang Asli.
“We have awakened,” he said. “We have awakened and we are sad. How are our grandchildren supposed to live in the future? I could pass away at any time, but how are our grandchildren supposed to live after us? That’s why we have awakened.”
According to analyses of satellite imagery compiled by the Global Forest Watch, Kelantan had 1.2 million hectares of tree cover in 2000. By 2014 however, nearly 30,000 hectares of that (20.9 percent) had been lost.
“It’s not even far away. It is just nearby, there are logging areas all around us. Yesterday they (loggers) said they want to cut down everything. It’s a forest reserve, they said,” Anga related.
In the grand scheme of things, this could seem mediocre compared to the rate of deforestation seen elsewhere in the country.
At the national level, the loss of tree cover over the same period is at a comparable 19.1 percent.
Kelantan’s loss of tree cover also pales in comparison to that of Negri Sembilan, Johor and Malacca, which occupy the top three positions (33.9 percent, 31.5 percent, and 30.3 percent respectively) in Malaysia.
But then again, watching green pixels on Earth turn Martian-red from space does not tell the whole story.
For Anga and his fellow villagers, the effects of deforestation on their culture and livelihood is clear and ever present, something that we, as visiting outsiders can perhaps only understand if we see it with out own eyes.
Kampung Barong was the first stop of my trip, after spending the night at Kuala Lipis and leaving the luxury of driving on paved roads.
Reaching the village entailed covering almost 50km. The average passenger car would take half an hour to cover such a distance on the highway, but this trip took three hours over muddy roads and across rivers in rugged four-wheel drive vehicles.
The journey also took me and my videographer through vast swathes of land that had been recently cleared to make room for oil palm plantations, before we finally reached the jungle proper.
The tale of the Orang Asli disquiet is probably better told by the broken and muddy landscape we saw along the way. Land which used to be hallowed burial grounds, bountiful orchard groves and favourite hunting grounds.
The driver of the 4WD vehicle that brought me there said he was thankful we were never caught on the road with anything worse than a drizzle. Otherwise, even these these rugged off-road vehicles and their intimidatingly large tyres with deep threads, would get stuck in the mud.
At least that’s what he would tell me when he was not busy expressing his shock, over the land that used to be lush and verdant green during his last visit just a couple of years ago.
He was keen on staying out of trouble, so I won’t be identifying him, and he would be steering clear of both the Orang Asli’s and the Forestry Department’s blockades to avoid any possible confrontations.
As soon as we met, Anga was more than eager to recount how he and his fellow villagers first encountered the Kelantan state government’s poverty eradication programme Ladang Rakyat, which is similar to the federal government’s Federal Land Authority (Felda) settlement scheme.
It was about seven years ago. The time was about around 4pm.
Anga and some other Kampung Barong villagers had gathered at the crossroads just outside their village to wait for their ride, on their way to attend religious courses.
“Then around five o’clock, we heard the buzz of chainsaws near the steel bridge. It was the first time this has happened, and, hey? Why have they gone into the cemetery? They (foreign workers and a local contractor) had set up camp there.”
“After hearing the sound of the chainsaws, my friend went over. He found a lot of vehicles parked there, so he went over and asked, ‘Sir, how did you get here?’”
The friend found out from the workers that they were there to clear the land for the Ladang Rakyat programme. He objected, stating that the land they were cutting down for firewood was a cemetery, and the surrounding area were groves tended by the Orang Asli.
But the contractor leading the gang of workers would hear none of it, and rudely rebuked him.
“No way! These are not Orang Ali groves. Your groves are up there in the mountains. The durians are not planted by you. It’s (from) bear poop,” Anga recounted the contractor’s purported words.
He said his friend then returned to the group and told him and the others what transpired.
After they returned from their courses, the villagers met.
“We thought and thought about it. There used to be just loggers. They destroyed the trees, but we didn’t know better.”
“Now we do,” he said, relating how the local community decided that it is time to act, as their culture and livelihood is at stake.
The first anti-logging blockades went up in January 2012. Some 300 Orang Asli from 31 villages in Gua Musang took part, claiming that their ancestral land is being taken by the state to be given to logging companies and for its Ladang Rakyat programme.
The blockade was the first of its kind in Peninsular Malaysian and continues to be a running battle between both sides today. Then, as now, the blockades are being continuously torn down by authorities and put back up by the Orang Asli from time to time.
The Temiars had also taken the Kelantan government to court over the alleged violations of their customary land.
The state government had alleged that the Orang Asli’s resistance were instigated by outsiders. Their lawyer Siti Kasim was even accused of championing the indigenous community’s cause, just so that she can fight with the PAS-led Kelantan government.
“This issue in Kelantan is driven by political parties, working with those who oppose the implementation of Islamic laws such as Siti Kasim who is against the Kelantan state government, not an environmentalist and certainly far from being someone who cares about the Orang Asli,” PAS working central committee member Muhammad Sanusi Md Nor reportedly said last December.
Angah bin Along
Kampung Chemal Resident
However, all of the Orang Asli folk that I interviewed during my trip to Gua Musang – each in a different village – vehemently denied this. Instead they stressed that the initiative was their own.
If anything, the much-demonised ‘outsiders’ served as a moderating influence in the Orang Asli’s resistance and kept their campaigns non-violent.
“We fight with our mouths, with written letters. (Fist) fights, guns, adzes, blow darts are all left behind. We follow the law, the demand through the law, and we fight through the law,” Anga said.
Alik bin Busu
The Head of Pos Balar
His sentiment is echoed by the Pos Balar village chief Alek Busu, whom I met outside his home the following day.
He told me that the choice to fight is their own, but others had provided advise on the course of action to take.
“There is no outside influence. We merely sought their views on what we can do; things we can’t do, we don’t. The outside has no sway over us. Nothing.”
“The outsiders merely offered advice: If you want to claim this land, do it properly, do it by the book. This method is legal, because it doesn’t cause damages and all that nonsense. We follow the law, we go through the courts.”
“That was our decision,” he said.
Fresh from a hunt with a machete and a knife strapped to his belt. Alek too shared his anxieties about the depleting resources in the forest that they forage from, and the perceived trespass of their customary land.
“We set up the blockades because we have a stake in this logging, which we think is not right. It intrudes on our customary land, and all our livelihood is gone, destroyed. The Ladang Rakyat too, because they do this without the consent of the villages or anyone.”
“They don’t ask the chairperson (of the village committee) or the chief. No respect. So now we are deeply disappointed.”
“When the rainy season comes, we suffer. Back in 2014, three kids died because of the floods. The floods are the reason why we don’t like logging, because it disrupts our lives and livelihood.”
“The plants in the forest are all gone, like our fruit trees. It’s hard to find anything, and that’s why we set up the blockades. We don’t like it,” he said.
The Kelantan Menteri Besar Ahmad Yakob had previously denied marginalising the Orang Asli. On the contrary, he said, the state had looked after their welfare.
He said the state government had gazetted 973 hectares of land as Orang Asli reserve, and another 19,000 hectares for them to roam about in the state.
Notwithstanding the state government’s efforts, however, it appears that a lack of engagement had worsened the conflict between the state and the Orang Asli.
“This issue should not be raised. The Orang Asli community in Kelantan is only about 10,000 and the area should be sufficient and need not be raised again,” Bernama quoted him as saying in a Dec 4 report last year.
According to Alek, the Orang Asli had tried to bring their grievances to the
Meanwhile, as the tussle between the Orang Asli and the state continue over the land and blockades, Anga shares his idea of what a good life looks like.
“They said that these matters should be referred to the Orang Asli Development Department (Jakoa). When we met Jakoa, they said this is the Forestry Department’s matter. When we met with the Forestry Department, they refer us to the state government,” he said.
He said one company involved in the Ladang Rakyat project offered his village RM10,000, purportedly with no strings attached. Though the money was turned down, as they preferred to keep their forests with which they can earn their keep, instead of receiving a one-off windfall, and losing their ancestral lands.
“We can count the money another day. But as long as we have this land and this forest, we can make bracelets and sell it in shops and so on to make some money.”
“Yesterday for example I went to catch fish. People ask, and we go fishing. I brought him there, and he asked, ‘Hey, go catch some fish. I want to eat’. I went, cast the net, brought it to him, and he gave me RM20. Enough. That would be nice.”
“If we were to take the (RM10,000) money just like that, we don’t want it. We don’t want to owe anyone anything,” he said.
Note regarding tree cover data: Not all tree cover are forests and the tally merely represents the presence of trees with canopy cover above 30
The figures are cited here as a proxy to the extent of deforestation, legal or otherwise, from an independent source.
The Global Forest Watch also provides data on tree cover
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